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Blog Submission: Benjen Taylor
Those of you who know me will know I am frog-mad! They are my absolute favourite animals and they are objectively quite ridiculous creatures to look at; huge mouths, bulging eyes, leaping and splatting about the place in the most undignified manner. And yet they are ancient. They have been around since before dinosaurs, before eggs had shells, before scales, before feathers, before fur. They were the pioneering vertebrates, the first living things with a backbone to emerge from the swamps and marshes and waterways and colonise the land. As a group they have survived every ice age and major extinction event the world has seen. They have captivated humans throughout history and across the world their unique lifecycle inspiring the myriads of superstitions, folklore, myths and religious beliefs. I wanted to write today about a lesson I’ve taken from the humble frog; on living multiple lives.
Living multiple lives
The word amphibian comes from the Greek word amphibios, which means “to live a double life” breaking that up into the root words amphi, meaning “of both kinds,” and bios, meaning “life.” The double life referred to here is that they spend their infant stage in water and their adult stage on land. To be able to survive such a dramatic change in lifestyle their bodies undergo incredible changes – we can use the fancy scientific term “metamorphosis”.
Frogs are often used as a classic introduction to the curriculum learning point of lifecycles and adaptations. The changes in their bodies are clearly seen to an observer; the tadpole stage has a long tail, gills and is adapted for life underwater in ponds, the adult has no tail, long powerful back legs, lungs and is adapted for a more terrestrial way of life – in fact most adult amphibians live completely on land only returning to water when it is time to reproduce and lay eggs. This metamorphosis is a powerful symbol of surviving change and transformation.
Relating this to our lives
There are many of us who can relate to this idea of “multiple lives”, who have experienced the kind of major life event that seems to bookmark the end of one chapter of your life and beginning of the next; having children, moving house, getting married, changing job, grieving a loss – there are many kinds of transition, some more immediate than others, but none the less representing major changes to your day to day life. I gently invite you to reflect for yourself; can you think of anything in your life that feels fits that description? We adapt to these changes, we learn to carry on living life as best we can, we undergo our own metamorphosis.
These kinds of life-changing events can leave us feeling fragmented or detached from past versions of ourselves, sometimes this fragmentation, this urge to put ourselves into chapters and versions, can be destabilising to our sense of self. We might cringe in horror at the things we once wrote or said or did, we might look at an old picture and not really recognise ourself, we might mourn for versions of our life we have lost, torture ourselves with the “what ifs” of paths not taken choices not made. It can be hard juggling all that complexity; quite often this mental and emotional compartmentalisation this tidying away into boxes, arises as a defence mechanisms, to stop us from being devastated by those feelings. Defence mechanisms are important, they keep us safe, they help us survive, yet healing from these events is complicated.
Some people find this vital healing work of coming together, of “reintegrating” these parts of us to be quite difficult to do alone; some may choose to seek support in talking therapies, hypnotherapies, support groups or community links, some may choose expressive exploration through art, creative writing, making music or activities out in nature to ground ourselves. Thinking about yourself, maybe there is a familiar place, one you have revisited over and over that has seen all these different versions of you in truly non-judgemental way that the natural world can. What might it feel like to revisit that place?
Reflections
Much like the frog, we should honour the dramatic and incredible changes we are able to endure, and know that we are not fragments, we are a whole life, still in progress, still changing, and that change is the only true constant there is. I hope you, like me, find some comfort in that nugget of wisdom from our slimy friends.